Dear dear...

I've been living quite happily these few months...I've been wondering am I a good gf to you or not...
No worries... when I do all these posting... its when I am takin a break or getting ready to sleep and start to ponder...

I start to feel I am really not a good girlfriend...
Actually, I really know that you are busy...
You could have 12 hours of council meeting or numerous meetings,
you have numerous of competition to prepare,
you have lots of projects and assignments to prepare,
and you have music stuff to take care of,
and your cats...
and your friends...
All these I know...

I was hoping I could do something...
So in the end, I try my best to go to school to support you...
I do not call you...
I only msg you to give you some encouragement.

When john tell me how busy you were( seriously i did not ask him abt this.. this is unexpectedly)
N when you tell me that you need a cooling off period...
I realise you might need me temporary off your life, so I decided not to contact you.
In order not to contact you, I have to pretend that we have broken up... erase your contact... so as not to msg you any longer... I was so sad that I cry almost every day...

But then when you contact me again.. to tell me I have not lose you...
I am very happy...
you sound very panicky and worried...
So i decided to msg you ...
I always thought that if someone every morning give me one sms... I will wake up and see a msg like: Morning darling... have a nice day ahead! this will sort of cheer me up in terms of hectic period.
But I realise it do not apply to you... stupid right?
Instead... it give you much disturbance... cause you msg me: you need more space.
So here I am again... not contacting you...

That day, I call you is because I wanna settle things: I wanna tell you that I want to stay by your side. But you say you prefer to put things after your taiwan holiday with a clearer mind. I accidentally make you feel irritated again, huh?
But then I decided not to say anything cause I scared I will give you unwanted pressure again.

All I wanted to do is to not give you any trouble... but it seems like I always give you unwanted attention at wrong times... haha...
I feel that I am really a bad girlfriend.
If you ever chose to dump me, I would consider that its partially my fault.

Me arh... really dunnoe what to do... cause what I've tried all failed... haha...

I dunnoe to cry or to laugh le. Trying my best to be an understanding gf but on the other end, become more disturbing...
Sorry leh dear...
Sorry if I ever add any more burden to you.
Maybe I'll be more selfish and spoiled... then things will be much easier for you ba.
I dunnoe what to do.. So maybe not doing anything will be better for you ba.

让你困扰是我最不想要造成的。。。but i always causing it... haha...

I still love you nevertheless... muackx.