Friday, May 28, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
This morning, I've a strange dream about casper having a monitor lizard as a pet. Oh my... And I see his family... which is super weird. Lol...
Tomorrow going MBS with him n ZW!! Yeah!!! Looking Forward~
Today went out with darlins and ah seng... very happy:)) but need to fly ah jie's kite... haha...
I think I really super slack for work... lol
Friday will be meeting Casper and Zhi Wei... yeah!! looking forward towards shrek and bowling... and some photoshooting at the helix bridge O.O
surprise surprise that ZW want to go there but since he says its a beautiful romantic place... dun mind O.O
Shall arrange a day to go club with JQ, seng they all... or should I not? hmm...
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Nowadays,
I still thinking of him.
Some minor changes is going on within me, and more things to digest.
What if I say I still believe in him?
What if I say I still trust him?
unbelivable, but true. I am really an idiot. But I do not regret.
'be steadfast in your beliefs, thereby we will honour ourselves. Lose your beliefs and you'll lose it.'
I will uphold my belief as long as I could cause there are people I believe in, and I know, they are also the same.
People may think I'm living in my own world, fake nobel, and pretense. But I don't give a damn... cause I'm just doing whatever I think is right, and I will continue to find evidence of it, no matter how small the possibility is.
Seriously, believing in something or an 'it' is simply pathetic. You did not realise you have lost many already.
Monday, May 24, 2010
When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door we didn saw the one that is open.
-- keller
Maybe as its too long- sooo long til one forgets that it's not always there.
As we say goodbye, we look forward to what's laying ahead of us.
But no matter what we do, do not regret, do not hurt others, as well as yourself.
Seek clear conscious, yet not self-deceite.
Clear actions requires no words of explanation, yet lies requires lots of lies or the so-called explanation to cover.
Crude truth is actually much appreciated than beautiful illusions made up of lies.
Yet people prefer lies than truth. Ironic. Me is no exception either.
Seriously, I don't noe what happen... but suddenly, all my friends are flooding me from no where.
Those I'm close with all along... I can understand...
Now those whom I've been saying hi and bye... now, suddenly ask me out or leave msgs... lol...
And little did I expect, my social market is like expanding bits by bits... at a fast rate everyday... lol...
Somemore, I've been attending lessons and gym... so meet quite a bit of interesting ppl...
ohya... kickboxing is fun... today got quite a lot of secondary school students in the gym visiting... The funny thing is that my kickboxing instructor thought that I'm one of the students... due to my outfit and built...lol...
And one 'malu' thing happen... I fell off the threadmill and landed on my butt in front of those kids... In the end, they stare at me... and laugh...
Luckily, my instructor help me up... lol...
And those kids keep staring and waving at me esp during kickboxing... lol... I think if we are not having lessons... we could be friends le... haha...
I thinking of attending horse-riding and piano lessons... be more lady... hahaha...(using my artistic exterior to deceive ppl... lol... kidding.. Actually, I used to learn piano when I'm young... I've grade 1 cert btw.. just that I've forgotten abt it totally... so dun dare to say anything... )
My mum suggest me to go ettique lessons first...
And I keep dragging my driving lessons... lol...
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Bought a few self-help books: art of persuasion, motiving employees etc... spent quite a bit on books... guilty guilty guilty...
Happy to meet a few of my old friends on the streets coincidentally when shopping...
Then first time went to Tiffany & Co. to take a look... hmmm... shall save for their earrings and bracelet... lovely... hopefully, i can buy them at the end of this month... hohoho...
Receive seven free entrance tickets from dragonfly... which consist of 2 free drinks, LUCKY... but I gave them away... haha...
I think reading books at home is much much better... Gotta start detailed planning for my future...
Hopefully, next week can catch up with some of my friends as well as darlings...
BTW, I meet the scouts yesterday... long time no see le... but I dun dare to say hi to 'humblebee'... haha... shy shy...
Happy to see my hot hot senior got a nice gf... his gf is pretty cute... I think he always go for the cute petite type... lol...
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Sometimes, when I look back...
for a long period of time... I thought that me and evan will stay the same way as before...
I realise I took the thinking of him will always stay by my side for granted, despite several signals from him.
I'm too in love to see anything, too blinded.
But its ok. Its over. Just like how I want to be a good girlfriend, I want to be a good friend only.
I realise I am the foolish selfish hypocrite all along. Actually, I do have great friends...
I do not know how to treasure them last time, but I promise I will now.
I'm apologetic if in the past I ever think poorly of any of you.
Another of my best female friend's r/s is on rocky rocks.
I slowly console her as I listen to her story...
Although I'm no better than her, but I believe by listening... it helps...
I hav a dream, to built a place where female tends to their wounds... or rather when they are tired physically or mentally, they would go to this place for relax or tend to their wounds.
I want to create this hideway... simply because there are lots of people who are mentally stressed out...
As I read on more psychological books and novels, I feel that I can see another different angle. Some stuff which I cannot understand or rather cannot accept, but I've to acknowledge it.
When I am very depressed or tired, I would crave for it...
Not a bad idea:)
My sis tell me abt this ger who do not know anything abt this guy, not even his name, but fall for him already.
They did not talk, even if they are in the same school...
Even after years... when both have their own partners, when they meet on the streets, they would still notice each other...
Just when they thought that their heart is settling down, or rather calm ... the moment they see each other, everything came back.
I think: if you have love that person before, you will still love the person. Nothing needs to be done, no mind tricks, no seduction game, no time factor, the person will still fall for you. Why? Cause you really love the person...
Friday, May 21, 2010
Today gone out with frenz with dinner etc
I think the next time we'll be partying and crashing different uni's orientation!! Yeah!!! Super cool!! Seriously, I'm yearning to attend one orientation long time ago...
I'm lookin forward to NTU, SMU, NUS... heeheehee... So fun...
Yearning for a uni-like school life with lots and lots of friends...
My dad actually offered to hav his friend's bodyguard to accompany us around in taiwan... as his friend is affluent in dark traides in taiwan...
Super Cool and Atas... but I prefer low profile this time...
I realise my parents do know some straight and dark traides in certain countries... Amazing...
Maybe I'll be friends with them then, it'll be like on the TV where i got to go to clubs and pubs for free entrance and drinks... lol...
Anyway, Happy Holidays =)
The sky is still blue...
The clouds are still white...
And humans heart are still as grey as ever...
Just went for a product launch and talk to Cheryl.
I think my ultimate goal is to be someone close to her or my mum.
Inspiring, goal-oriented, full of passion and dedication...
I may not be someone smart ...
but I will be someone dedicated to make things happen... and I believe I can.
The mirror crack and quickly it shattered to a thousand pieces...
What happens if someone knew he is close to getting a large sum of money if he gets my heart?
What happens if I keep on increasing that monetary value?
This is a game of Conquest.
And I'm in the game.
Giving my heart wholeheartedly is something I always do.
Although I'm no angel, I don't intend to hurt people either.
It's time for me to win this game.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Being reading Liar Game.
The game of deceiving each other in order to survive in the game.
The test of trust, unity, team, faith and hope.
Things like read between the lines, some psychological tactics all happen in the game.
My character is like the female lead, emotional, guilable.
But as the game progresses, she grow up and at times proves to be a dangerous existence.
She seems stupid, but at certain points, she's incredibly sharp.
It's an interesting game. Highly recommended.
Somehow... I'm feeling happy and gee...
Maybe its because I've finally said whatever I wanted to say.
I'm ready for on a new journey in life!!!
Yeah!
Congrats to my little brother who got into the national wushu junior team!
Little little happy things accumulated these few days and I'm getting happy and well...
My cough and flu is subsiding... My fever has gone down...
Now busy preparing his DSA admission thing.
This makes me think that perhaps in the future, when i have kids, I'll be doing the same thing ba...
Same kind of thought pass through when I'm preparing docs for my third brother.
haha... I think being a parent is not that bad after all... quite interesting nurturing a child.
Its a challenge, a responsibility. And I am quite confident that I have the courage to take it on.
My mum is also brought up in a single parent family. Her mother passed on when she's young, her father got another wife, when both passed on later. I'm pretty amazed that she can bring us up when she doesn't know what a mother should be like.
I often tell her: Being your child is a fortunate thing.
This goes to shows, no matter how hard the situation is, I will try my best and bring the child up in a right manner with good character. Though there's lots of delimma with this thought, and I'm not an angel either, but at the very least, I'm not a harmful devil.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
To Mr you-know-who,
I'm glad to have spoken to you tonight.
It sort of lifted the heavy rock in me.
You are right. Even if we continue, things wun change. It might end up in a bad note.
This time, we spoke with our minds clear and pressure-free.
I'm glad that we loved each other before.
I'm happy to be in this relationship.
Happy that we pass through lots of things together and tests of trust.
From this point on, I hope we can maintain this special bond and trust between us no matter what status we are.
Just like I know you will be having concerns for me from afar. Me too:)
Love itself is painful feeling with no boundaries- as stated in journey to the west.
After a few events happen these few months,
my heart ask me to continue to wait for him.
I don't really understand why, but I am continuing to do so.
I am waiting and moving on at the same time.
I understand that all good and bad things will end, there are no forever gatherings as what will always follows are partings. When the time comes, no matter how far we are, we will still meet.
I looking forward till that day, by then, I'll tell you words and feelings that I have no chance to say.
Hopefully, that day will come, I prayed.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Welcome back! Good to see you back safe and sound, I whispered.
This is something I wanna tell you.
Down with heavy flu and fever plus cough...
I begin to think things through again and again.
Maybe I did something wrong just that I do not know.
I don't know.
I attend my sister graduation ceremony and try my best to look healthy...
When I enter the clinic... I have to wait for close to 2 hours to see the doctor.
I feel weary and sick.
Lots of things in my mind.
My brain feels heavy and feverish.
My heart feels aching.
I cannot be like this, I tell myself. If he knows this, its gonna be sad again.
Stay Strong my dear. Its only a fever.
But another side of me brings back memories.
Stop it. Don't think anymore. Just sleep.
And tears start rolling down as the struggling continues.
I am someone who knows when to stop when its not needed.
Monday, May 17, 2010
OMG OMG OMG...
I'll be receiving an interview from Cosmetica Magazine tomorrow!!!
A small small step forward... but feeling happy and gay though its not a very well-known magazine.
Brief intro: Cosmetica is a beauty magazine which circulate and distribute FOC around all beauty palor, nails shop, spa, hair salons etc... anything related to beauty...
Good magazine when looking for beauty related suppliers etc... and trend...
A magazine that is not for sale to the public. But in any case, I'll still put it up on my company's fan page... Hohoho...
Hopefully, my flu will go away tomorrow... Shoo Shoo Shoo... Ah CHU! >.<
Down with heavy flu and dry cough...
I am impressed that I am still waking up early and doing work stuff...
Tonight have Jap Lesson!! Yeah!!
Gotta postpone gym session with my personal trainer, no choice... A bit apologetic towards him for the last min changes...
Later got to settle maketing materials stuff...
Busy busy busy... :)))
I think I'll try to slot in driving lesson next week.
When I'm doing some itenery research... it appears to be fireflies season for the month of may for farm stay. I wonder if evan they all got go and see or not. I'm sure it'll be super pretty at night and it'll be pretty fun.
Sunmoon lake got a dragon-pheonix temple... I think I'll be going there to pray god of love for more strength in love, lol. I think maybe I'll pray for more advices and blessings as well.
But seriously, the whole taichung is damn big. The lake is in Taichung but its at the north side... so its like 2-3 hours ride away from the taichung city. I wonder is there train to take. If there is... I believe it'll be much cheaper... lol.
Busy doing research for the route and the position, have to optimise the time we have for maximum attractions.
Really looking forward to the trip as its my first trip with friends, somemore I plan most of the itenery... hopefully, everything will be alright.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Today got attend eyelash extension seminal conducted by the korean eyelash queen...
She's really pretty...
But I suspect she's fake...
Cause over the net, there's no info or her nor her website...
I guess she's just a make-up artist which is good at eyelash extension...
However, I really like her hair and her high heels...
Damn... lately, I'm a bit into heels and dresses and skirts...
I guess there's something wrong with my hormones... lol...
I'm like a spoiled child yearning for more.
Yet I'm not a spoiled child as I'm easily satisfied.
Busy planning itenery for taiwan trip in august.
I think I'm more hardworking planning it than doing my projects lol...
we'll be visiting lavender forest, going to museums, temples, night market and farm stay, theme parks, mountains, shopping... cool cool cool...
Cannot wait for it...
Yesterday I dream about him again...
This time he call me and tell me he wanna be a monk... lol...
I ask him: How's your taiwan trip?
he seems to say something but I dun understand and do not remember.
When my alarm clock goes off ringing, I woke up.
I begin to think things again...
Saturday, May 15, 2010
I am sick and I'm eating some other medication.
Have to avoid oily fried stuff and sweet stuff plus heaty stuff...
I guess the only thing I can eat during company's dinner is shark fin...
I shall get the largest pot of sharkfin... heeheehee... then some birdnest as dessert...
What a lavish dinner for the sick...
lol... I finally cannot control myself and go peek at his facebook...
Glad to know he is having fun in taiwan...
I am currenly having flu and cough and still working...
Sis is right ... Not nice to take medical leave since I start work...
I think I might faint anytime while walking cause the flu quite drowsy...
I think I am crazy... I feel happy for him...
To see him smile... I feel happy actually...
When u guys see me please knock my head... cause I could guess you guys will actually tell me to stop thinking n looking at his facebook right??? haha... esp jia qi...
Maybe the flu medicine is a bit too strong, I keep thinking of him today...
And when I think of him, my tears would start to roll...
Stupid right? I still think of him and would start to tear up...
I know I should not, but I still do...
I still miss him at times...
I still dream about him at times...
I dream about the both of us happily chatting... smiling... although I don't remember what we are talking about...
N I am still hoping to meet him...
I have to give myself a few slaps to wake myself up...
Time to move on...
I think I need to occupied myself with more work... lol... Not busy enough...
(People, this blog is my emotional punchbag... do not comment... just read onli... or else I'll be pressurised everytime I put up an entry... deeply appreciate yr concern...)
I've to admit:
I did suspect myself being a superficial being who is fake in front of people...
I waver towards people's words cause I do care how people look n think abt me
By right now,
I could not be bothered... cause its tiring.
I tried too many ways to prove that I am really who I am too much till I feel I am fake... or rather I think I am fake
I end up doin no good...
I'll just quit whatever I am doing or thinking so far.
It's time.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Shir Hee's weather report:
Today is a sunny day with sunny rain...
Feels a little sleepy but more energetic as usual...
I am feeling happy and seriously, I am dead busy.
Packed with marketing stuff and planning... my company is expanding soon!
We'll going to have our 3rd outlet soon, hopefully the katong negotiation will be smooth...
Though we have a little ties with the boss of the mall and others, but it's better not to owe any favours...
The business world is dark... Hahaha...
But well, we are trying to keep it brightly lited... hahaha...
Hopefully one day, we'll be like them... to have a building of our own!!!!
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Shir Hee's weather report:
Today is a cloudy day with small rains.
Suitable time for sleeping.
Don't know why I keep feeling sleepy.
Ever since after the exams, I've been working non-stop. I got sleep on my off-day, but I'm still feeling quite sleepy.
As long as I sit down on one single place, within 10 mins, I'll start to doze off and dream.
I guess I need an energy booster or a wake up call to wake me up... cause I am feeling drowsy. Memory is getting bad so I start to use notebook.
I seems to have forgotten quite a lot of stuff... but this blog is to keep the pieces of past memories intact which includes important events and people.
Tata... back to my lala land.
He said Females nowadays are materalistics.
Most of them will try to get the most out of you.
There are very few girls who are willing to be in love without considering the terms.
Do not trust love as its no longer trustworthy.
I can understand cause people in the society... most of the females I've gotta in touch with actually mark this guys secretly... Even if the guy are fantastic with words or good with romantic tactics or even truthful to the girl, it'll never last.
I've seen quite a few cases.
In fact, I've seen lots of cases.
I even highlight to them that perhaps the guy would choose you instead of you choosing them. But to them, its just another guy, a better one will come by.
I feel like telling these girls: No... Not that a better one will come by. Sometimes, the right one only come once. Once its gone, it might be gone forever... cause some people do not meet after break-ups or whatever it is, once fate is gone, its gone.
I could sometimes feel that guys know how to love more than female does.
I could understand why people like him just wanna play girls and ditch them, let them know that they are not the one choosing, they are not the most attractive.
But seriously, this type of gender war where I choose you, you also choose me is utter rubbish.
What do they treat human relationship as?
Supposingly a type of special bond becomes a type of commercial game.
A type of serious bonding become a chess game.
To me, its no difference from magazines selling their so-called awards.
Valuable awards need to buy, nothing is free. Just like love nowadays...
Maybe not necessary in this format for in other types of format and not really heart to heart.
People are getting complicated which makes me feel naive.
Is there really true love anymore?
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
DreaM:
Me and my sister dream is have a building of our own. Our very own poly beauty building which provide beauty services such as beauty treatments, spa, mani and pedi plus other miscellineous. People may find it a child's dream.
But for us, its a reality to aim for.
A place where people like to go on their off days to rest, a mini getaway with a holiday feel.
After we open till the 4th- 5th branch, hopefully, we got savings for our dream.
Jia you, work hard! hopefully the dream could be realise.
Shirhee's weather report: Sunny day.
Start the day by going to the gym with my sister... hopefully the personal trainers are nice, instead of buggy.
It's time to shape up my body.
Although my weight has been dropping 1-2 kgs...
My body shape is still not at the right condition.
tummy, lower tights, arms
hopefully, my body condition will improve.
Shir Hee weather's report:
As the curtains draws open, the grey sky starts to drizzle...
Looks like someone is weeping quietly...
However, there is no one who knows it except me...
I draw back the curtain,
went for a shower...
Time for battle...
But somehow or rather, I do not detest it...
Rather, I am trying to accept it
Cause being in the battlefield will be something I'll be doing for the next few years...
Need to get myself prepared for a few years, before I fly to another place ...
Hopefully by then, I've become more mature, more independent, a crybaby no more...
Just like I promise myself on that faithful day...
Be strong, be realistic, get real.
I will be different. Or rather I must be different from yesterday and the day before.
I must survive.
Maybe just like what my mother said: Love should be the last thing on my list now.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Today, I saw a great performance by my mother... exploiting the ugliness of people...
Back in the world of reality,I feel stained. I am back to another self.
In this world, people are into fierce competition. Nothing comes out good as long as it has something to do with money.
My job: to prevent mishap happening on me n my mum.
Lots of the things happen in the past due to betrayal, backstab, jealousy, greed.
This world is filled with brutal truth.
I fight to keep any purity in my heart... as pressure is forcing their way in...
No one can be trusted in this other world.
I've seen too much betrayal and lies.
heartbreaks, tears, anger, sadness... I've been through it all and now, I'm only left with this feeling: numb
People who get near me in this other world has a motive. And usually, it's 80% due to money.
Pathetic.
Slowly my surroundings, the white sides are slowly turning dark grey areas. And I've to resort into tactics to either exploit them or to attack them, just to prevent myself getting hurt. Pretty selfish arh.
I mock at those who are filled with jealousy and put blame upon us. WTH.
I seriously dispise this sort of people.
Do you guys wanna see us drowning in troubled waters then you will start to stop all your nonscence?
If I ever become discapable... it's all thanks to you guys.
Thank god, I believe in something call benovelence... which goddess of mercy taught us. but keep in mind, I keep a knife at my back.
Disappointed. utter disappointed. Why can't people starting learning to be grateful with what they had, try not to be so selfish, try to treasure whatever they had.
Ever since I got backstab by her, it's over. My trust is over in that world. In this world, I still trust lots of people... N some of them, I trusted them no matter what happens... it's weird. My sister call me hypocrite at times, someone with 2 faces. I won't deny. Who don't?
I think I better go china to pray at the temple...
Need to cleanse my corrupted soul abit.
I had a dream last night.
I dream of evan again.
I hope he's ok. I know he'll definately be alright, duh. What a dumb question.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
I think I'm starting to get over Evan...
My memories are starting to fade away bit by bit...
I realise this serious problem of memory a few months back when Evan say stuff that I could not really remember...
Memories of past events start to fade bit by bit...
Is there anything I could do about it?
I've been obessesed with Liar game since this morning...
The plot is extremely good...
The morale of the story: Doubt humans, suspect them, so that you can have a long good look into their hearts.
Meaningful.
In this story, suspecting is a good thing. Whereas, trust is a bad thing.
When you suspect someone, it gives you a chance to understand the person more when you question them.
But when you trust someone, by not asking them any question, you are avoiding any chances of knowing what their heart is like.
People around me often say I trust people too easy, and too much.
Looks like I gotta reconsider my mentality and start having doubts in my heart, haha...
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Thinking about this year... I think my scheduel will be quite pack...
I'll be flying to taiwan in august, and hokaido in dec...
then will be taking jap lesson from may onwards
Hopefully, I will be taking driving lesson too... heeheehee...
then, time to plan my career path... steps to go ahead...
unlike from normal working path where people aim for promotion, I've to aim for something different...Yet to finalise...
hmm... so happy... planning for taiwan itenery... haha...
Lucky we've ways to get cheaper deals...
I manage to find air tickets that are 400+ instead of the normal tix rate of 500+ saving around 100... yeah...
Next, need to plan for sightseeing...!!!
This is another beginning... Fighting...
Hope you are happy with your trip.
In the past, let you angry and worried lots of times...
Let everyone around me worry and sad... I'm sorry.
From today onwards, I'll be the NEW shir hee...
haha... smart and atas.
Everyone have two sides...
If you ask me, what is mine:
I could only say its realli conflicting...
A part of me wanna let go and not care, just forget everything...
But a part of me wanna hold on...
This type of strugglin... generates both positive and negative thoughts...
Sometimes, i've to admit... my thoughts become very drama-rama...
And I could not tell this to anyone but to type it down in this blog...
But then, my thoughts will change.
During all this time, its hard for a girl not to keep lots of inner feelings...
not to feel insecure
Dare not think about it, and force herself to work more...
N know that 'life will still go on so just F*** it' theory...
But on the other hand, hopes that the other party will be happy...
As long as everyone lives happily, it'll be alright...
So don't be surprise if my entry become very emo a sec and happy a sec...
Cause it'll be many thoughts from different views coming in battling...
I hope that you too will understand.
I'm seriously dunnoe what I'm thinking... cause what I think and what I feel is totally different... sounds illogical right??
But it's true...
people...
if I ever be emo... n have negative thoughts just knock my head... haizx... stupid me...
paper is over... Freedom!!!
Thursday, May 6, 2010
My last exam is tomorrow...
By the time I end my exam... I think you might be preparing to fly, or perhaps already there...
Everything will be finalised by tomorrow.
Things end.
Don't be emo... miss goh... peeps... if i ever worry you guys with my emo-ness... sorry k... just understand that to me... its just a thing to go through...
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
2 more day left to the last paper... and freedom arrives...
This semester has been tremendously taxing for me... be it physically or emotionally...
Hopefully, my efforts will pay off in exchange for whatever I've lost...
I still kept that amulet and the lettle in my drawer...
should I give or not?
just say... I do not have the courage to, or rather, it might result in negative pressure for the other party...
haizx.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Evan...
My company have got Singapore Entrepreneurship Award 2010...
Great right?
Although I keep complaining... but I've manage to push it a little further... And finally, a little recognition...
I believe you will feel happy for me too right?
I hope you are working hard towards your dreams too:)
I guess... I've learn to accept the fact that its all over.
I've lost you totally.
Hopefully, one day... our paths will cross again... and by that time, we will be friends.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Finally, one of the worst paper anticipated is over... Now, I just have to get over the last paper... and freedom will be here...
Happy that zhi wei ask me out... long time nvr see him le... expecially casper... lol... we used to be quite good too during JC days beside qi jie n farmy... haha...
Looking forward to the holidays where I could get to spend with them n my darlings... of course...
evan... how r u? hope you are doing well... you should be finishing you exams by now ba... and prepare for your taiwan trip this friday... bon voyage and take care...
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Today is 1st May... Labour Day...
My home as usual is rowdy, and everyone is enjoying themselves while exchanging their thoughts about food.
How r you?
I bet you must be alone at home or eating outside with your mother.
I used to invite you to my family gatherings... sometimes thinking, actually you don't have the choice of being alone or not... but somehow, your environment makes you more solitude.
I always attempt to pull you in, thinking of sharing some noisiness but at the same time happiness with you.
But then, it gave you pressure.
And you prefer solitude.
I acknowledge that.
But thinking of the past,I realise all along, I've treated you as part of my family.
To me, you are a special person.
The feeling I have for you is more than friends, more than family, more than lovers... I guess its a mix of all three ba.
Complicated eh?
I still misses you as usual.
Its wrong right? I know I should not, but I still do. Haha...
I shall immerse myself back to the reality world with loads of responsibility for me to bear.
